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Jargon Jokes Index of Jokes

This page lists all the Jargon Jokes collected on the site.

They are in no particular order on this page - use the navigation table at the top of every page to view the Jargon Jokes sorted into various categories.

Note: Some of the Jargon Jokes may fit into more than one category, when this happens, I tend to place them in both categories - This is deliberate and not a mistake! - so you may see a few duplicates. It means that when someone is searching for a certain type of Jargon Joke they are less likely to miss one.

If you have a new joke for the site, please use the guestbook to post it - this is where all new jokes are picked up and added to the Jargon Jokes site.

There are now 58 Jokes on the Jargon Jokes Web Site.

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Modern Military Jargon - Ever wondered exactly WHAT the term "collateral damage" means? Check out this Jargon Joke for a humerous definition of modern military terms.

High Tech Jargon - Do you wonder what manufacturers are telling you when they say a product is "Hand-Crafted" or "Maintenance Free"? Check out this Jargon Joke for a great funny guide to High Tech Jargon.

PC Jargon - Beta Software, Error Message, User Friendly.... Sounds Familiar? Check out this amusing definition list of what these PC Jargon Terms really stand for.

Query, a poem - A poetic ode from a Geek, detailing his experiences on usenet - "I shot a query into the net. I haven't got an answer yet,......

Top 20 phone tech support no-no's - They are supposed to be "no-no's" but I swear, I SWEAR, I have spoken to these people!

Top ten way's "Deep Blue" is celebrating - Humorous joke file giving ten reasons for "Deep Blue" to be celebrating.

Ten ways a computer nerd can impress his date - A list of ten ways to make a good impression on a date - nerd tactics - WOW!

Time for Toast - A "what if" file. "What if Xerox made toasters: You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you" ....... You just HAVE to read the "What if Microsoft made Toasters!" Great Jargon Geek Joke!

Three Engineers - A classic Jargon Joke that pokes fun at Microsoft and their brilliant Windows Operating System (lol). Personally, I would have called the AA.

Top ten uses for my boyfriend's computer - A girlfriend gets her own back with her own Top Ten Nerd list.

Signs you bought a bad computer - Well, you just KNOW that I typed this on one of these computers, don't you? "7. The slogan on the front reads: "Intel Pentium Inside: redefining mathematics".

Internet FAQ - An hilarious Internet FAQ file that explains what the Internet is, how it works and that it is run by a 13 year old called Jason. Did you know FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions - HA! Only kidding!

Explaning why my program doesn't work - A list of reasons a programmer might use to explain his or her non-functioning code. Is this yours, Bill?

Still a virgin - Another pop at Microsoft - I love it!

Smurf Inside - A Jargon Jokes file detailing "Smurf Inside" rather than "Intel Inside" ........ Hey! Did you hear the music then? I did!

10 signs co-worker is a computer hacker - You will recognise this person! I used to work with him, anyway.

10 signs a Red-Neck was on a computer - What's a Redneck? (Only Joking!) - I'm just a local yokel anyway.

The Frog Princess - Personally - I'd choose the great mad passionate love for a year! - but then, I'm not a computer programmer, am I?

God's e-mail - Well, it's OK - I never got it either.

Funny Unix Commands - Part i - A real geeks Jargon Jokes file - funny anyhow!

Funny Unix Commands - Part ii - A real geeks Jargon Jokes file - funny anyhow!

Funny Unix Commands - Part iii - A real geeks Jargon Jokes file - funny anyhow!

Heaven or Hell? - Another Jargon Joke that takes a poke at Microsoft - why do I find these really funny? :-)

What does the '95' in 'windows95' mean? - For those of you, like me, that actually waited eagerly for, and then used Windows 95 you will recognise all of this!

How to spot a computer engineer - Yes, it is me!

In Computer Heaven and In Computer Hell - A hilarious little Jargon Jokes file that explains the techie world we live in.

Why client server computing is like t??? s?? - (Rhymes with lean hex) - Ah, I remember it well.

What do you believe? - Well, no one can say Bill Gates and Microsoft don't deserve all the fun that is poked at them - I really like this one.

Reasons to Believe Computers are Female - I love this one! :-)

Reasons to Believe Computers are Male - I hate this one! :-)

Where is my father? - A guy tries to outwit the Ultimate Computer and gets his come uppance - ha!

World's Smartest Man - Ha! Ha! Billy Boy! You're not as smart as you thought you were!

Nineties Jargon - A Nineties Jargon File that explains the meaning of phrases such as "VULCAN NERVE PINCH", "PRAIRIE DOGGING" and "SEAGULL MANAGER" ...... still current, really......

Proper Diskette Care and Usage - Did you know? .... "Diskettes become "hard" with age. It's important to back up your "hard" disks before they become too brittle to use"..... the rest of this geek file is just as good.

MAN CATCHES COMPUTER VIRUS! - Yes, he came into too close contact with his computer and he has got it too..... "From the highly reliable newspaper, Weekly World News:" ...... lol

Hewlett Packard Lockheed Martin and Apple go for a Pee - Three Company Engineers are in the mens room having a pee - the result is a classic!

Engineer Meets Management in a Field - Whilst not strictly a workplace jargon joke, this one gets in because it is SO funny and SO true! (You can tell I've never been in management myself....:-).......)

Top Engineering Terms and Expressions - Part I - Top Engineering Terms and Expressions - Part I - (What engineers say versus what they mean). Ha! This is not just engineers.... could be software developers, technicians, call centre support staff....... you know what I mean!

Top Engineering Terms and Expressions - Part II - Top Engineering Terms and Expressions - Part II - (What engineers say versus what they mean). The second part of this work joke - going to have to start an Engineers Jokes page soon.

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager - A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager almost have a car crash on the way down a moantain - this is how they dcide to sort it out.

An engineer and a lawyer were recently fishing in the Caribbean - An engineer and a lawyer on a social trip together - now that IS funny.

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference - And they are too mean to buy tickets - what is the world coming to?

Three engineers got on a crowded lunchtime bus - Three engineers got on a crowded lunchtime bus and manage to persuade three girls to sit on their laps - yeah, yeah.........

An architect, an artist, and an engineer - An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress..............

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break - Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing who (which professions) makes the best patients. Personally I would have said super-models but they don't even get a look in.

Top Ten Reasons to Date an Engineer - Top Ten Reasons to Date an Engineer. Well, I wouldn't go out with him.

Four engineers discussing who designed the human body - Four engineers discussing who designed the human body and they never even mention God.

One day, an engineer died - One day, an engineer died and went to heaven...... it's OK, they wouldn't let him in.

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift - There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical........ I love this one, I wish I was that good.

Signs of a Bad Secretary - I could really get to like a secretary like this....... more human really.

The Three Statisticians - Well, these three statisticians go out to hunt rabbits......... hope it wasn't Bugs Bunny.

The CEO's Envelopes - I always knew CEOs' and Managing Directors' were up to all sorts of tricks, so this doesn't surprise me at all...... Good company joke.

Real Engineers - The ultimate definition file for REAL ENGINEERS...... "Real Engineers say "It's 77 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin," and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day." ....... Love it.

A Glossary of Computing Terms - Jargon and Geek Definitions of the Computer Industry and the terms they use...... I must be REALLY sad because I actually enjoyed this GEEK file.

The Ten Office Commandments - Every Office I have ever worked in has had rules like this....... What a life.

Copier Technician - Real life is often funnier than fiction and this workplace and techie joke has the ring of truth about it.

Computer Jargon - A super computer and authority........ ha!

Possible IBM acronyms - Well, what do YOU think IBM stands for? :-)

Microsoft versus GM - So Bill Gates criticises GM, the response is hilarious...

If companies ran Christmas - Microsoft, Apple, Rand, Cray, DEC, Dell - would YOU want them to run Christmas - Read this...

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